Hello, everyone.
You see that gorgeous, wonderful tabby in the picture? That is Chimi. He has been in the family since we picked him up about ten years ago. Many things happened, and even though there were hard times, I believe he was truly happy.
We love him so much, everyone at home. It is hard to imagine life without Chimi now. I was a girl when I found him, and today I am an adult, almost 22 years old. A little over five years ago, however, Chimi was found to have Feline Leukemia. He had several ups and downs, but we came to think that he would last many, many more years with us.
But since about a year ago, his health was simply decayed too much. He has gum infection, and not even antibiotics were able to help him. Because our economical situation is really bad right now, we cannot do much more for him. He is suffering so much, and although it cost me months to accept it, tonight I finally decided, that Chimi doesn’t deserve to keep enduring so much pain. He is not happy anymore.
Even right now, I still want to cling to the possibility of a miraculous recovery. Once already, when he first got really sick, we were going to do it, but the same day we were supposed to take him to the vet for the injection, he suddenly recovered. Since then, he was much stronger and even went back to his normal happy life. I was hoping, with all my heart, that the same thing would happen again. But I suppose that was very optimistic from my part…?
So, the question is, how do I keep the courage to do this, and then to endure the pain? Because I cannot imagine how life will be without Chimi by my side. He has been so much more than a pet. I have seen Chimi as my own family, my friend, my companion. I am sure you know what I mean.
I would like to hear from others who have been through similar situations. How did you manage to part with a loved cat?
Dear friends:
Thank you very much for your words. They are really helping me, and I agree with all that you have said. This is for the best, after all. He will finally be able to have peace again…
I should tell you that, curiously enough, this week two new cats appeared in our lives. One is a pregnant Siamese cat, and the other is a pure-black Angoran male cat. At times I come to wonder if they showed up at this precise time of my life to wake me up and tell me, “Hey, you have to let him go. Don’t worry. We are here for you.” They are very loving cats, both of them.
And I think of this, because they came to us. We didn’t go after them. We opened the doors of our home, and there they were, literally, as if waiting for us. And they indeed are helping to make things a little easier, although no cat will ever be able to take Chimi’s place. That is simply impossible. But I know, I am certain, that I will come to love them as much as I loved Chimi, and I will care for them as I cared for Chimi. I made that promise tonight, in Chimi’s memory; and I am not going to fail him.
I think, and I want to believe, that I am being responsible, humane and considerate of Chimi by doing this. Even if it hurts now, even if it feels like I have betrayed him, even if it seems cruel. He does not deserve to suffer any longer. He deserves to rest in peace.
Going to the Bridge Tomorrow… How to Prepare to Cross?
Chimi, I love you. I love you. I will always love you. I will always remember you. Never doubt it.
As I told you, you did the right thing. He lasted much longer than he was even going to originally, and having seen so many of my pets suffer through slow deaths where they just looked up with eyes full of pain and just sat in corners waiting for death to come to them, I do believe that sometimes, no matter how cruel it may seem, that may just be the most human thing to do when all other options are gone. I hope you feel better soon, and I am very glad that you have gotten two new little ones to accompany you through this very hard time.
It’s been over three years since I had to make the same decision, but your post brought back the heart ache of the decision, though it was the right one. It is hard to let go, though one must, but memories always remain.
I also had to smile when you mentioned the two new cats that found you. My mother has had the same thing happen, more than once.
Anyway this is an old post so I won’t say more, except: Hope the new cats are doing well!
:} Elorithryn (from Protagonize)