Just claiming the blog now, before I forget.  :)

Wish me luck!

Herro there~!

Well, final exams for this semester are almost over now. Just one more to go this week, and then it's vacation until January. I am ashamed to admit that things didn't go too well for me this semester… I am going to get bad grades in at least two of the courses… I may be failing the math course, which is actually VERY disappointing for me because I DO like math… I'm just not the best at it. All I can do now is wait for the new semester and study harder then. I am not giving up on my dreams, you know!

I had given you December 5th as the starting date for the renovations in my domain. That was yesterday, but yesterday I was taking an exam and then coming here to cuddle with my cat all day. Sorry about that! I'll start doing a bit of what I had to do yesterday today. I'm going to take things slowly this week, because I have to study hard for the remaining exam, which is my priority. I have a new job, too.

Aside from working on this domain, I want to spend some time sharing ideas with Ouren from the OGN to update SilverQuest, the 2D MMORPG project I'm part of. I want to release a new client version and include all those new in-game features I had promised him over 3 months ago. I practically abandoned that project when I started the semester! So this Christmas will be for this website and SQ, so that when the new semester begins, I can dedicate my time to studying without being constantly worried about everything else.

By the way, soon i'm going to start posting in the new blog instead, because I can't move my posts from this one over there, so it'd be a waste if I continue posting here.

I'll be back soon!

Like I said before, I'm going to be building a new website from the ground (I think that's the expression)! This will be happening, starting from December 5, and ending sometime during the beginning of year 2009.

The new website will have some really neat things, will be more organized, and even have more content; because I'm going to fuse some old websites together into one, get rid of others, and bring some new things, too.

I decided that I'm going to try moving my blog to Movable Type. This is going to require that I spend some time learning about the new 'blogware', and how to design for it. I am also considering having my old forums (Project Fantasy) back under a new name, but this wouldn't be happening until later in 2009. My current priority is coming up with a list of content and websites that I want to keep, and a new plan on how I'll organize all these things. Then will come a design mock-up, and the blog itself, and… I'll stop there, because there are things I haven't planned yet.

I apologize for such a sudden disappearance from all the communities I belong to.

… But life is that crazy… and so am I.

I have decided to put the blog back up. I missed it. However, there won't be any updates for now, because I am busy with other things. Also, I want to re-design the entire domain, including this. And there are too many posts from the older blog that I never moved to this one. I also realized that this blog needs a disclaimer (lol, yeah…). I want to spend one day to do this, but this day won't come soon. Expect this for November or December, though!

For now, stay tuned to the domain's main page, where I'll be updating sometimes.

Also, take a look at the Opera Gaming Network. I am currently involved in that community, and in two of its projects: SilverQuest (as developer) and Mavra (as tester). The forums are active, too. So if you're into game development, you could find your place in there.
Another place where you'll be able to find me now is Castle Paradox, another game development community dedicated to the OHRRPGCE engine. I have grown very fond of this community, especially of the people I frequent in their IRC channel. I've made friends, and I feel like I've finally found the place that will fill that emptiness I have been feeling for a few months now… (But I won't talk about that.)

Well, that is all. Thanks for coming. :3

This is just a thought I want to get out. And I am going to try to be brief, because I don't feel like extending this. (Update: In the end, I wasn't brief at all.)

I am angry. Oh yes, VERY angry. Not at you, don't worry! And not at myself, I assure you. I was burning in anger this morning for the atheists who blame religious people for trying to convert the rest of the world to their own religion; yet, these atheists don't do a very different thing. They describe religious people as idiotic, stupid, ignorant, etc. There is a sort of… hate. Just to clarify, I am not talking about ALL atheists. I am talking about that particular type. Because, you see… How do I explain this?

We know that many religious people are fanatics. Fanatics believe in whatever their belief is without even questioning it. Very often, this fanaticism (Bad spelling? Let me know!) turns into an obsession to seek for those who don't believe, and convert them; convince them that their way is THE right way. That obsession can become brutal. It can kill, even provoke wars, and destroy nations. We've seen that happen over and over again since the beginning of civilization. But you know that story (at least I hope you do), and I don't pretend to discuss this thing about “religion is evil”. Religion isn't evil. It's the people who become too obsessed with it who may be considered “evil”.
Now, let's analyze these atheists. They can't understand how a religious person can believe in something without even asking himself or herself why. Sure, I find it hard to understand, too. And, personally, I am not a religious person; but I used to. I was almost a fanatic, and was often described as too “old-fashioned”. My logic was, “If this is what I was taught; if this is the way things are supposed to be; if this is the RIGHT way to live… Then I have to follow it… Right?” And that was enough… for some time. But then I kept growing and learning new things… And the questions that I had since I was very small, but that I suppressed from asking for respect to my religion, such as: “What does 'existence' mean?”, “What would there be instead of existence? And thus, what is 'nothing'?”, “If God created us, then who created HIM?”; I began to ask myself those questions again. I couple of times I tried to stay away from religion, but always came back, because I felt as if I was betraying God. And about a year and half ago, I decided that, if I had so much doubt, and what I was told in church wasn't enough to make me happy, then I had to quit, or I'd become an hypocrite, like so many are, and disrespect this belief and the people who follow it, by considering myself one of them, knowing that, inside me, I could not believe in any of it. And that's what I did. I quit religion, even though I DO believe in God; just not in the same way that they do. I think I feel better with myself in that aspect. My mother and brother don't understand me, though; and they've come to believe that now I am an atheist. Well, I am not. But returning to the subject of this paragraph, I want to ask this question. Let's say that you're an atheist who used to be Christian or from any other religion. Obviously, you quit. Why did you quit? Most likely, because you weren't satisfied with the teachings of that religion, right? You felt incomplete, and you were full of doubts. You wanted to find concrete answers to your questions; answers that could be proven before your eyes. Science answers many questions through the scientific method. Theories, research, statistics, whatever. When a question is asked, Science tries to answer it its way. And very often, it does… and in very convincing ways. But not always, of course. Doesn't religion do the same? It looks for answers to questions that humanity can't help but ask, and answers them according to whatever their way to view the world is. We tend to call them myths. And all those “myths” are based on something real. You'll find that many religions share similar stories and concepts, each time told and explained in a different way that supports their beliefs. But religion can't always answer the questions either. So in the end, we come to the same point: all our questions might never be answered. Humanity will have to continue asking them, and hoping that, someday, they'll find what they've searched for. To some of us, the answers that our religion provides are sufficient. We feel realized. We can live happy lives with them, and we don't feel the need to ask anything else. Because, why worry about what seems to be clear for us, if we're content with it? But others, like me, will never stop having questions. And religion doesn't complete us, so we search somewhere else.

So, to those atheists who bash religious people and hate them so much, ask each of yourselves, why are you atheist? Aren't you being a fanatic like those you so much hate? And, by hating religious people, don't you think you're doing the same thing you say they do to non-believers? Aren't you disrespecting their ways of life by thinking like that? Are they really so stupid and ignorant for not having the need that you have to find concrete evidence to prove your theories? And why do you want the proof? To show it to the world and “enlighten” them? To convince them that YOU are right, and THEY are wrong? To make them quit their religions and adopt your own? Isn't that the same thing that religious fanatics do? Hate those who aren't like them? Because, to my understanding, that is called intolerance. Intolerance to a culture, a religion, a nation, an ethnicity, etc.; but it's still the same thing. And I believe that intolerance is a way of ignorance. Hating them and expressing how stupid you think they are is not going to make you seem smarter. It's only going to make you seem angrier. If you're fine with your beliefs, you don't need to prove it. Just believe, and dedicate your life to find happiness and stability through YOUR ways. I am telling this to both religious and atheist fanatics, and all those people who believe in something so strongly that they can't imagine another way to see the world, and refuse to accept that not everybody has to think like them. We are individuals and, like it or not, religion is destined to exist FOREVER. More than that, different opinions that vary from one individual to the other; and the next, and the next… and so on. What is so wrong about that? Just accept it! Some of us will never be satisfied. And it's possible that we'll never find happiness this way. Others who are satisfied with the simple answers are in their right to do so… As long as we don't hurt each other for a conflict that we created ourselves, and that is unnecessary, you should just let each other live their own way.

I know that I've made my mistakes in the past, and said some really stupid things. But I've never tried to offend someone for not believing in God, or for belonging to another religion. Never have. Of that, I am sure. I have friends that are very different from myself. While often I offer my opinion without being afraid, I don't want to force others to believe that what I say is the right way. And if I ever really did, I wish to apologize. Because, to my standards, that is not the right thing.

We have to learn to respect, and only then, should we expect to be respected. And don't forget: your friends might be into religions that are different from yours. And that shouldn't even concern you! You don't even have to know! But if you do, then you have to accept it and let them decide whether that's what they want or not. They are in their right.

Just contemplate it.

Remember that I write this with good intentions. Sincerely,

Jessica, aka Arwym Starlight

Note: I am feeling better now.

Yup! I've felt so motivated lately, that I was able to finish this part at last!
But I think it is now that the challenging part comes. I have to start working on the part of how the links will be displayed. The idea is to make it very easy to incorporate into any design. That is, by using code snippets to put your links into any page with a .php extension. It sounds easy, but I want to do this well. I really want to make this script good. I've come to realize that this is not always as easy as one imagines. I thought this would be the easiest part to do, but it's the opposite.

I really don't know whether to show you screenies of the admin panel, or wait until I've advanced some more and designed a new look for it. Because, right now, it looks very plain. And really, that is fine, because nobody else but the owner of the website is going to see it, but I don't want to seem like a crappy designer either. (I am not so good at web design, but I gotta still try… right?) So I am going to try making something very, very lightweight, but stylish. And I am going to add icons to the interface in order to make the whole thing easier to read and navigate. Because, right now, it's… too… plain.

I am missing the few comments I used to get. Now it's like I get none. Are any of you still around?

Oh yeah, and I am aware of how pathetic I must seem by asking such a question.

So… I was thinking about contributing to the Quintessence community with a Quintessence-themed oekaki board. And Reives (creator of Quintessence) liked it, but he thinks that it's best to wait for the next chapter of the game to be released.
And I agree, so, for the moment, I've decided to open a general-themed Oekaki board for those who want to join me. There will be some rules, of course, but you can draw almost anything, as long as it's not porn, or some random, ugly doodle. Please show an effort with your drawings. Other than that, you're welcome to join!

Edit: This oekaki is not online right now.

The site's re-design (or revamp) is going to be slow, as you may have noticed. But I have a good reason, you see! I felt motivated and started doing some more work on the Starlight Bookmarks script, and it's coming out decently. I finished the category management part already, and am doing the link management part now.

The plan is to finish that part, and then revise the code and add some things, fix others, etc. before moving on to work on the last part, which would be to write the functions and other code that will handle the output (that is, displaying links, category lists, etc.). After that is done, I'm going to try making a sort of installer for the script, write a users guide, and visit a community where I can get some feedback on the script, tips on tidying it up a bit, and maybe some help to make it better. After that, then I MIGHT try to share it. That's the point, isn't it? To share my script. But only when I'm sure that it's usable and understandable enough for others to use and play with.

I have faith in that, at the end of this odyssey, I'll have come to understand PHP and MySQL better, for my own good and that of others who might want to try my scripts. And if God and fate permit, I'll continue working on this script and any others I decide to write, as well as keep learning and improving my skills.

And you better have faith in me, too!